Sunday, April 27, 2014

Social Media Boundaries; I love you but you're getting blocked.



Blue Boats in the Tickle at Change Islands

Having a snuggle with my favourite Newfoundland Pony Jigger on Change Islands.


The other day a person sent me a message through face book. This is a person who is a friend of a friend of a friend shall we say. I have never spoken to this person in my life, have never really given her any thought in any real sense though I do know who she is. She isn't a face book friend though she's never been blocked or anything because, well, I don't know her enough to block her. Mostly she is just sort of irrelevant.

And then I get the message. It appears in the "other" box  and it has several lines which are terse and taciturn and somewhat accusatory. To make a long story short, I pointed out that her contacting me was bizarre and untoward, denied her weird and unfounded allegation, and then blocked her immediately.

It was obvious from the fact that she messaged me that I, a stranger, was somehow on her mind and that she felt compelled to inform me of her disapproval of whatever her, frankly,  delusional mind had decided I was doing wrong.

Social media is a strange thing.  You have to get used to the idea that people are watching and that perhaps you don't know who they are. And from that lurking and creeping they will come up with a conclusion about you that, while potentially sound, is entirely dependent upon their own perceived notions of how one is supposed to conduct themselves.  In other words, they must approve of you.

Once you get used to being watched and judge you have to filter out that which serves you from that which doesn't. I love social media, all of the Internet and I take the bad along with the good.  I have sold books, gotten jobs and made lifelong friends using social media. I've also seen the darker side and I've had a few really unusual characters try to attach themselves to me in one way or another.

I am fairly open on Social Media and people who meet me in person often comment that I'm quite like my online self.  I pretty much am. No I don't put every single secret out there on the web but guess what, I'm not going to do that in person either.

Social media is a useful tool but it's only a tool and you have to maintain complete control of it. You can't become fixated on the one dimensional profile of a person you haven't met.  You do not have to consider the feelings of a person who really isn't part of your life except from behind a computer screen. I accept that I am not every body's cup of tea but I am fine for many.  And if some, one gives me the heebie jeebies in anyway, insults or abuses me, they get the big bad block without explanation. Being on my friends list or even accessing my public profile is a privilege and I get to deny it to those who don't deserve that privilege.

I think more people should do the same.

When somebody wanders into my world with no other purpose than to disturb it for their own, strange and disturbed reasons, I have no qualms about removing them.

I send them off with compassion however, because things must not be safe, secure and happy in their own world if they feel the need to intrude upon a stranger's.  I wish them well in my mind and move on from there.

Wishing  people happiness doesn't have to come at the cost of my contentment and peace. I am quite willing to do it silently behind a wall of cyber protection.

Also, the photos above having nothing to do with the post but hey, they're nice pictures. They'll make you smile and smiling is all I want you to do after this post.

Because all of you, well most of you, I know only through the Internet and so far, I like you all just fine.

Carolyn

3 comments:

Wendy Reis Proofreading and Editing said...

Thanks for this. It bothers me when people I have never met send me messages and start up a conversation about things that are none of their business as if they have known me for years. I try not to block. I may rethink it.

Skyline Spirit said...

pretty nice blog, following :)

Eddie Bluelights said...

Not sure if the email I have for you works, Carolyn.
Tried to contact you to invite you to my Reunion Ball at my place where there is poetry music and a dance just for us!! lol

Eddie x