Friday, February 24, 2012

On Writing; (Totally jacked that from Stephen King)



Someone asked me this morning if I still write...their (somewhat negative?) wording was "so much for writing." because I posted about my other business and how happy I am with it on my face book.  Yes I write still.  But if I didn't so what?  It's not like I'm my writing.  I'm me.  How I choose to direct my me-ness is entirely up to ME.  So it was a funny sort of question but now on to the blog post.

I write every single day. I don't have as much time to talk about it but I have several writing projects in the works. And one is a new novel. Its title is Paddy's Four and it'll be a short, totally different book from anything I've ever done.  For one thing the main characters are all men which means this can't be complicated right? Sorry guys, I couldn't resist.

When I was a girl my father owned a fishing boat, a long liner,  with my Uncle Ray.    She was called The Carolyn and Ellen after me and my cousin.  She was sold, altered and eventually wound up at the  bottom of the ocean.  But after she was sold, and before she was gone forever, I used to dream about having a lot of money, buying her back and refinishing her to how she was prior to being sold.  I wanted her to be as she was in my childhood when she was my boat.  It was a dream of mine to have her back in the family.

Of course, that dream isn't possible any more but something amazing, and perhaps even better has happened.  This story I'm working on takes place on a fishing boat.  As I am writing the description of this boat, I am transported aboard to The Carolyn and Ellen.  I can feel the roll of the Atlantic under her and the smell of fried baloney masking her natural bilge water odor.  I see the little step I would have to navigate over to get into the wheelhouse, can feel and smell the felt/rubber on my face as I looked at the lights and blips on the radar screen and the strong hands of my father on my waist as he hoists me up to do so.  

If I close my eyes I'm in the galley and I can hear the voices above in the wheelhouse as I sit at the table, see the over painted hinges on the table where it folds underneath and see a crack of sunlight through the hatch in the roof, over the bow.  

Sometimes I walk carefully along the back deck, sit on the ledge of the hold cover, watching for jumpers and feeling cold misty salt air on my face.  There is more I can describe in detail.  I see the rust around the latches, a drip of paint  of the modern lifeboat that replaced the dory when safety guidelines demanded it.  I see the brass bell that hangs with its tarnish painted finish, the clapper rusted into place so that it no longer rings.  The salt water is hard on things like that.

But it isn't hard on my memory.  My best and most vivid memories involve the ocean and are untarnished and vivid in my mind.  

And I'm going to restore her after all!  I'm going to bring her back, not with hull and beam and plank, but with memory and pen and paper .  The story will unfold on her deck, in her wheelhouse, in the galley on that great ocean.  I will raise her from her watery grave and share her with all of you.  The story will be fiction, her name will be changed, but she's my boat all the same.  

Oh the joys of creative endeavors and never ending.  Give up writing? Never.  It is as much a part of me as my heart.  It is not who I am but it is the greatest proof of my dreams.  I have always written.  I just never always shared it.  I will continue to write and yes, eventually there will be something to share again.  My dreams without fail come true, and usually better and  bigger than I dreamed them!  I'm just always careful to heed the following.

"Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream...
~Lao Tzu~

Never let go of your dreams.  They are where your reality is conceived.  In birth, they may not appear like you imagined.  It's kind of like having a baby that looks different than you expected but love all the same.

 

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Go Jump in the Lake!



Photo credit; Glenda Marie Chaulk







Above is a picture of the polar bear dip in Gander, NL.  Yes..some fools decide, for some strange reason, to jump into Gander Lake in February.  And my first thought was, "I want to do that!"


Yes.  I'm one of those fools.  


No I haven't done it.  Yet.


But here is the reason why I would.  


Because, in every instance, where I have found myself in the place of my greatest joy, it was preceded without fail by my place of greatest discomfort.


In order to publish a novel, I first had to put aside a lot of previous priorities, like housework, and just do it.  In order to publish the book I had to go through the very uncomfortable process of submitting it and having my work rejected.  In order to build my business I have to do things that I'm unused to doing.  But invariably, doing so, has led to success.


Hopefully it's just discomfort that you must experience.  But sometimes the process of change, of improvement, of growth is quite painful.






Remember the book The Thorn Birds? The very famous quote goes "There's a story... a legend, about a bird that sings just once in its life. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree... and never rests until it's found one. And then it sings... more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. And singing, it impales itself on the longest, sharpest thorn. But, as it dies, it rises above its own agony, to out sing the lark and the nightingale. The thorn bird pays its life for just one song, but the whole world stills to listen, and God in his heaven smiles. For the best is bought, only at the price of great pain."






I've always loved that quote. I guess it's always been my goal to not settle for average and to live a life that stands out in some way among lives. Not because I believe I am or deserve better, but because I believe we all deserve the best. I'm just choosing to not enjoy my rut but to propel myself to a new level each time the opportunity presents itself and if it doesn't present, to go find opportunity.




Look around you? Are you comfortable? Yes? That's good right? Or is it? In that comfort, is there happiness? Satisfaction? Or is it laden with regret? Do you have what you have dreamed of having? Are you what you dreamed of being? Have you given up on your dreams and settled? I haven't given up on any of mine and most of mine have come true so now I've taken on some new ones because, well, why the heck not?






The other day I was asked to speak on a topic that was new. I hesitated for a moment and they quickly said I could speak on a more familiar topic, but I said no, let me try the new one. I hadn't prepared for it. I hadn't given it any thought, and it was a little uncomfortable. I made a few notes, then tossed them away. It was a small crowd but all the key players in my business were in the room. I took the mike and told my story.






I'm not sure it was any good, but it's a start. I will get better at that.






And next time I won't be as uncomfortable.






I have for as long as I remember, seen myself speaking in front of a large crowd of thousands and each time I speak in front of a smaller crowd I know that this will make that time less uncomfortable.






So, I tell you all of this because I want 'you to understand why I want to jump in a cold lake. Because to get uncomfortable is to lead to rewards that you've never dreamt of. What is the reward for jumping in the cold lake? That's part of the discomfort, usually we don't know until we do it, what it is all leading to.




Want something? Look carefully at what steps you need to take to get it. Then take one. Then take another. Make the call you're afraid to take. Send the email. Apply for that job. Declare yourself open to the possibility of having your dreams come true. And they have a better chance of doing so.




Risk something. Get uncomfortable. Jump in the lake! I dare ya! NO, I double dog dare ya! SPLASH...brrrrr...WOOHOOOO!







You do not have to do what you've always done, but if you do, expect to be where you've always been!Carolyn R. Parsons




 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

t



Today

 I sat and watched the fog roll in
and pondered at its grey
and felt perhaps you needed me
a little more today

I sensed you had a longing for
some warmth and understanding
from someone who asks nothing
and has never been demanding

So I sent a  little love to you
as has always been my way
but I added hugs and kisses too 
to brighten up your day

I wandered in the fog some more
and my walk became a run
so then I sent some laughs to you
for a little touch of fun


I sat and watched the fog roll out
as the stars came out to play
and thought perhaps you needed me
a little more today






 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Consolation

Photo credit: Tracey Alexander Nolan


Consolation

Infinity held her face in its hand
and looked her in the eyes
It bound her with limitless laughs
and heard heard her breathless sighs

Forever touched her tender cheek
and stroked her wishing soul
warming the tears that poured from eyes
so vacant, deep and cold

Delicious are the  blue-eyed skies
aromatic are waters deep
their kisses brush a brow of sand
and hush her soon to sleep

Divinity carried her in its arms
and laid her down to rest
and she curled into a ball of love
in her spirit's feathered nest.




 

Saturday, February 11, 2012

For Burton Winters

In Memory of a Boy.




Hand of Hell

Despair is a walk on the ice
that rolled with the waves of the sea
lost like dust in the windstorm
each step one step more to defeat

Endless is a family's fresh grief
and it drifts like the dunes of the snow
it piles against the big land
where the desolate winds always blow


Shame on the cold hand of hell
that slept as he walked cold in the night
with the silent ghost sound of the choppers
that were never allowed to take flight


Truth carves a gully of guilt
red hot is the now smoking gun
held tight in the cold hand of hell
that didn't do what should have been done


So moved by the story of Burton Winters.  So sad that protocol took the place of common sense.  So outraged that billions of dollars are being spent on fighter jets while Search and Rescue is being cut on the east coast of Newfoundland.   So grateful for those who did help by walking and looking and flying your private helicopter to try to find this boy.  Government is NOT reflecting the people as this situation highlights so completely.  So grief stricken for the families.  I hope you find peace.


 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Nostalgia


Nostalgia

It was easily relayed without dash without dot
not a sentenced was spared or delayed
The location recorded was at once understood
by the receiver who further relayed

The code that was not, was as clear as the sky
on a bright sunny February day
and a smile was smiled at the thought it was sent
from a location that was not far away.

And whimsy drove out to the west with a sigh
nostalgia sat by its side
and a wild wind floated across the long miles
and memory went along for the ride.

 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Friday's Child



Friday's Child


Your dreams are never quite as big
as the reality your mind is creating
the golden space between each strand
fills the void where your universe is expanding


You weave the tapestry of your life
on a loom of purple love
and run your hands over heated dreams
discarding obstinate store-bought gloves

You bask in the glory of the days
where fantasy lives full time
and art is a product not for sale
yet is bought for some pretty golden coin

You are Friday's child both loving and giving
and the silken threads of your life are sewn
by candlelight that illuminates and warms
with the flame of love that you've always known



  Claim your happiness and free those around you to claim theirs!
Carolyn  R  Parsons