Friday, June 29, 2012
Thinking...it's what I do.
Today I said to someone that "my life is too valuable to waste even a moment of it." and was told I had the wrong mindset. Really? Now this was someone who has their own agenda for how I should be spending my time obviously. It is somebody who believes they've found the answer to their own troubles and thus that same answer should be applied to my life. They are wrong. I have known for approximately 5 years now what my purpose is in life. Coordinating all of that with full time single parenting has been the only glitch. As my life moves forward with support in that area things are most definitely coming to me to make things align to that purpose.
My life is already damned good, I'm not seeking to change it really, I'm just looking to expand my experience, to help others learn and grow and to become the person I was meant to be.
The thing is, it is clear to me that, for the most part, my life is on the right path and has been for a number of years. Several years ago, when I decided to write my book, choose happiness and purpose, live large and real, love who I love without guilt or condition, things became very obvious. Over the past few years I have tried many new things, some of which have worked for me, some I've had to let go because they subtracted, rather than added to my life.
Life is all about sorting and sifting and living with a lot of moving on thrown in!
I was also accused of "overthinking." Now while I get that this is possible, what I was doing was musing about why something wasn't working and trying to find the solution so that I didn't waste my time doing it wrong. And if I'm doing everything right, and it's not going the way I want, then I would quit of course. If it isn't having the desired results, why would I continue to waste my time? That's insane.
When I do something I want to be the best at it that I can be and that quite frequently includes "thinking." My personal opinion is, perhaps there is a bigger problem with people "underthinking" these days!
Everybody who truly knows me knows that I am a feeling person. I live by my heart. This doesn't mean I don't need to use my brain. When something feels wrong, I use that organ to think and consider why. Before quitting, I try to resolve the issues by talking to those who should be able to help, who may have insight and who might be able to offer advice that is concrete, rather than spout sound bites they've heard somewhere that sound profound, but have no real meaning if they don't apply to all paths taken.
My life is too valuable to waste a moment of it. It's big and exciting and it is with or without people who think their way to live, because it works for them, should be the right way for me.
I am not, nor will I ever be, a kool aid drinker, a sheep, a blind follower. I will only be led by those who have a certain wisdom, and the qualities of leadership that actually requires some thinking rather than those who are simply following. And I will always know the difference.
So you can be assured, that if I am involved in something, I truly believe in it. I must. I will not do it otherwise! I did not spend all my time these past 5 years focused on my personal growth to be advised by somebody with a one track mind, instead of an open one. That would be a fool's journey.
Meanwhile, if my refusal to stop growing and learning bothers some, so be it. I am who I am, I do not conform and will not conform because I like who I am. I have watched people lose themselves entirely in their attempts to please the people around them. I cannot do that. I am too valuable to me.
Lesson of the day? I will only learn to be a follower from followers, so I avoid them. I will learn to be a leader from leaders, I shall seek them.