Friday, January 20, 2012
Happiness and Sun Rays~just rambling and pondering!
Rumi said, "Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment."
Do you ever walk out the door, look up into the sky and marvel at the fact that you can see forever? I try to do that deliberately and I believe it is a good thing to practice.
But very occasionally I will just be awestruck in random moments, by how magnificent and incredible it is that we are all just here.
There are all many theories and stories and beliefs about how this all came to be but I can never seem to get too caught up in the the "how" of it all. I'm just too completely caught up in the reality of it all!
This entire world of conscious beings in physical bodies set upon a sphere of stone and gas and air and water in orbit around a ball of fire, just takes me aback with the miracle of it all!
Infinity. Forever. Never ending. That is what I see in those moments when I look up in the sky and that is why it is easy for me to believe that I too am infinite, forever and never ending!
In those moments I am almost resentful, but not really because I am too entirely happy, of being weighed down by gravity and my physical body. Perhaps that's why flying has always fascinated me.(That and the fact that it is truly one of the best representations of humankind's creative spirit and ability to make things happen simply by considering the possibility and carrying it forward).
When I was a little girl I remember thinking, "If I live to be a hundred years old, I will never ever be able to learn everything there is to learn." This troubled me a great deal because I hungered to know EVERYTHING. Are all children like this? Mine all seem to be though they don't seem troubled by it I was. Now I'm not longer troubled but I do still hunger for knowledge. In fact I'm insatiable to absorb everything I can.
Particularly, people fascinate me. I love them, every single one and I am always fascinated by their thoughts, their motivation(or lack thereof) and how some seem to follow the status quo and grow and change at a remarkable slow rate while others are constantly moving and growing and learning new things.
I have had the great fortune lately to be able to spend time with some of the most interesting people I've ever met. I joined a local networking group with writers and artists, actors, editors, jewelry craftspeople etc. I've met some well known and fascinating celebrities and sat with a former Pentecostal Pastor's wife turned author from Newfoundland and had an amazing and insightful discussion about her life and philosophy which oddly enough is closer to my own than you might imagine. Her book, Feet First tells a story of amazing resilience and of the power of a human to overcome unimaginable circumstances.
Meeting these people has stimulated a new sort of growth in me, reignited my passion for life and reminded me that I still have a lot to learn!
Will I live to be a hundred? Of course! Not a doubt in my mind. I imagine I'll be a very cool centenarian and I'm hoping my hair will have grown long by then. People will tell me I don't look a day over eighty and I will have a pile of finished and published works under my belt including the television script and new novel that I'm working on now!
Will I have learned all there is to know in the world? Maybe not. But I will have learned all I am to know in the world and I'm going to make sure of it!
I was driving home yesterday and it was very blustery. The wind was blowing drifts of snow across the road and it was dull and drab.
Suddenly it became very bright. An amber glow was all around me. I was in a sun beam! Just one ray of sunlight was breaking through the clouds and it illuminated me like a streetlamp on a dark corner. I slowed down a little to bask in this warm light and smiled in delight at the pure beauty of it.
And this is one thing I have learned. I want to be like that ray of light. I want to brighten things for those who are having a dismal day. I want to leave every room a little brighter than when I entered it, leave people excited, leave people inspired and motivated to learn all there is to learn in their lives, leave this world a better place. Whether it's through my writing or my business or just from a conversation and being a friend to them, that is what I've learned about myself.
I may never know all there is to know. But knowing the kind of human I want to be and being that human makes me too happy to be concerned...after all perhaps it's not the knowing everything that's important but the willingness to be open to learning everything.
So there you have it, all of the things that make me happy. Learning, people...and sun beams.