Friday, July 29, 2011

Step in Time



The edge of the world, Cape Spear, NL. North America's most easterly point and where the whales gather.


Have you ever seen the movie Mary Poppins?  My kids have a copy and it plays at our house pretty regularly.  They know all the words to all the songs and they keep me very entertained with their own versions of the songs.

My favourite is their rendition of "Step in Time."  For those unfamiliar with the movie, the chimney sweeps and Mary Poppins break into a very rousing dance routine and the lyrics go "Step in time, step in time, never need a reason, never need a rhyme."

It's a big number taking place high upon the roof tops out of sight of the rest of the city. Everybody there is breaking some sort of law or rule. The chimney sweeps are not sweeping, the children are on a roof AND out past their bedtimes and Mary Poppins herself has taken her young charges when she ought not have and to do so defied even the law of gravity!

So to me the song is more than a dance number.  It's about taking time to dance.  Even further, it's about taking time to dance outside of your regular life.  It's about breaking the rules perhaps or at the very least, breaking free from the routines and expectations of the people in your life.  Perhaps taking on a role you're not accustomed to playing in your life.  The role of YOU.

That is what I have done this past week.  I've stepped out of my life.  No reason.  No rhyme.  I left my kids in the very capable hands of their grandparents and had myself a vacation.

Am I stepping in time?  I think I've stepped in something.  Not being completely responsible for the lives of two children or, in fact, really answering to anyone for the past week has given me a chance to think, to breathe, to grow, to write, and most of all...to have fun!

My life has been at my own whim.  Feel like veering off into Petty Harbour for an hour?  Nobody to ask or check with.  Do I want to roam the hills of Cape Spear yet again?  There is nobody to say "but we've already done that."

It has been a step in time.  And in some sense it's been a step out of time.  I've planned for nothing.  It's the wind that is carrying me and my own desired.

I have walked trails I've never walked and taken time to leave those trails much to the chagrin of other hikers.  I have stopped and inhaled the berry-fresh marshlands and danced to the whale-song of humpbacks.

I've screamed in the air when I stepped into a bog and mud squirted two feet high drenching me.  And I laughed into that same air a moment later when I realised what it was!  Again my apologies to fellow hikers on the trail.

All alone?  Not entirely.  I've taken my nieces to listen to music at a coffee shop and I've had wonderful conversations with the guy at the Newfoundland Chocolate Company and curators at museums.  I've seen the Ghosts of Signal Hill and I've spent tons of time with my sister and I've had and will have some more fun with friends coming into the weekend.

It's mostly the fact that I've done what I've wanted to do on my own schedule.  I've been here and there and back again.  I've also written and recorded ideas for poetry and blog posts and even come up with an idea for a new novel.  Yes moving back here is a good idea.

As I was writing this a thought came into my mind.  I was thinking of the "step in time" song and wondering if perhaps I'd "stepped out of time" rather than "into" it. 

But it doesn't matter. None of it does.  The most important thing is I enjoyed.  I danced.  I wrote.  I dreamed.  But most of all I lived.  If I hadn't, I would have died.  Perhaps mere survival is never an option if we're to be truly happy.

Get out there.  Step in time.  You don't need a reason or a rhyme or even a vacation alone.  You just need to live your life to the fullest but if you do get the opportunity to jump outside of it for a while, do so.  Wallow in the freedom of being at your own beck and call without care for any desires but your own.

Two more days of jumping my own rope.  Just me and my notepad and the ocean.  And then I'll go back to my regularly scheduled life.

Here is a link to my little girls' rendition of  Step in Time. for email subscribers.

Embedded for the rest of you.  Well worth a play for the cuteness factor alone.








Live!  Mere survival should never be an option!
Carolyn R Parsons
 

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Grand Illusion




This grand illusion is their very best friend
it shelters the world from the truth that's within
it covers them with a shroud of deception
so none may discover their heart's imperfection

They created it well, made the perfect decisions
and crafted each act with detail and precision
If the academy voted for movies like these
They'd have statuettes lined up like small silver trees

Sometimes there is just some improvisation
but oft it is planned, a deliberate creation
with each  scripted line upon each written page
they perfects each scene that appears on the stage

The purpose of course would seem their protection
a guise to help ease a heart's new direction
but it's just a feeble attempt to satisfy that heart
so that it may find freedom's brand new start.

Each elicited hatred, a purposeful act
(that they've tried several times to somehow retract)
but with the hope that they now can move on unobstructed
propelled by the play that they've carefully constructed


For their hearts are still chained by the Milky Way
and a love that is magic and determined to stay
though it decided to give up and navigate a course
away from the path it desired the most


It's not working well, though it appears to be perfect
a heart can't be happy if it's not with its soul mate
twins of a love from the beginning of time
are drawn to each other without reason or rhyme

So they act on their stage, perfecting the craft
smiling and talking and quite often they'll laugh
everyone applauds as the curtain comes down
and it'll be worth every effort if peace can be found









lt; <

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Margarita Evenings and Dark Coffee Mornings





Margarita Evenings and Dark Coffee Mornings

Memories rim-glazed in salted moments
of hands that exfoliated the heated spaces
touched by the one who wandered
both aimlessly and purposefully
into some private places

Juices sipped through salted lips
smiles and slightly inebriated kisses
garnished with a wedge of joy and
 sounds of sighs and laughs at reclaimed
moments and near misses

Sunset a voyeur to the entangled dancers
twilight russet in the universal distance
a cocktail of passion in a village
of lost shakers and wasting away into
 the myriad of second chances

Dawn shakes and stirs and another round
of dark-perked sensual liquid explodes
flowing down hills and lush warm valleys
washing away the salted remnants but a tall cool
margarita evening never erodes

Dark coffee mornings wear nothing but knowing smiles
and a drop of cream to colour the brew
steam rises from strong folded hands, a heavy cup
holds the sensual inhalations that appreciate
refreshments that are sweetened anew.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Heads or Tails; You Choose!

Happiness lives here.
I am almost overwhelmed by all the unbelievable good fortune that is coming my way these days.  So many incredible coincidences and synchronous meetings with people who have set me up for an incredible success in a completely new avenue in my writing/artistic career.  And guess what?  I'm not gonna tell you about it.

Nope..see anticipation is fun.  And I'm gonna keep the anticipation going because, truth is, I really don't know where all this good stuff is leading but it's so much fun living in the dream and watching the opportunities unfold before me.

So I'll tell you all in good time.

It isn't going to be all rainbows and unicorns of course.  Life has bumps but I absolutely refuse to focus on them.  They're irrelevant.  I'll get through, I'll not only survive but I will thrive!  Because I have, with practice, learned  how to flip the coin and see the positive side.

One thing is certain..in two days I leave for Newfoundland!  Straight to St John's now instead of a stop on Change Islands first.  This is part of the unfolding mentioned above.  I have to be there to meet with the appropriate people and to study the potential of this new opportunity first hand.

Oh the glorious wonder of being happy!  Can you feel this energy that bounces off the page?  I cannot find the words to express how amazing life is for me right now in every single avenue.  Spectacular.

From the outside it probably looks pretty ordinary.  Kids, school, some writing, bread-baking, lunches with the ladies,  just boring domestication...but internally I seethe with joy. 

I wonder if it's contagious because I have such a huge desire for everyone to feel this way.  Oh I hope so!

And I will bask in it because life tosses curve balls at ya and while I'm not looking for the dark side I know a contrast may appear.  But meanwhile, I'm gonna immerse myself in the wonderful present.  It will sustain me through, well, anything.  This moment right now and the many like it, is what I will reach for when things are rough, as proof of how well things can be.

I was talking to someone the other day about how you can look at things completely differently to change the perspective.  I gave him a few examples.

I remember when I was about 8 months pregnant with my daughter Sophia and I was turning left to go into a store..not seeing the car that was coming in the opposing direction.  I stopped just in time and didn't hit him fortunately.  The driver of the other car was frightened however and turned his vehicle around and came back to park beside me, got out and started to barrage me with curse words for nearly hitting him. 

I smiled at him, then looked him squarely in the eye and said, "So you took time out of your day to turn around and come back here for the purpose of yelling at me for NOT hitting you?"

He looked baffled for a moment and then cursed a little more and got in his car and left while I stood there chuckling at how ridiculous the entire thing was.  I had stopped in time.  There was no collision.  All was well.  His anger was such a waste of time.  He could have been feeling positive at the avoidance of a collision with a, "whew, glad she saw me in time," but no, he chose the "that idiot nearly hit me!" emotion instead.  Too bad for him.  He can never get those moments back.

Another example of this kind of change of perspective was from a person who once lamented that, "bad things always happened to him."  This he said in reference to his son having been diagnosed with leukemia at a very young age.  This had been a very difficult time for his family certainly, I cannot and choose not to even imagine what they went through, however, the child beat the odds and made a full recovery and is in his twenties now.  So to this I replied, "I think you're a very fortunate man.  You had a child who survived cancer, that is something to celebrate."  He looked at me oddly and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right, I never thought of it that way before." 

It had never occurred to him to flip the coin.  To look at the other side of it, he was so wrapped up in the memory of the hardship.  But the opposing thought brought a smile to his face.  And we're meant to be happy.  To have fun.  To flip the coin whenever we notice we're focusing on the  negative.

Perspective is everything and you have the ability to change your own perspective on any issue in any given moment.  If you wait for the behaviour of others to make you happy then you are not only asking the impossible, you are giving your  personal power over your life away.  It is good to share your life with others but you need to own your own life and you must take ownership of your own happiness. 

So all is good.  All is right.  All is happy in my world!

Heads or Tails?  How about both?  How about neither?  How about best two out of three?  I'll choose the one that makes me  happiest. Always.






Your perspective is the filter through which you view life...change the filter, change your life.
Carolyn R. Parsons


  

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Craving


Do you have something better to do than smile?


Cravings

I awake to you each morning
familiar, fresh and strong
reaching out and tempting me
teasing me along

You tempt my senses with your heat
and make me want you more
and I hold you in my trembling hands
as I never have before

I crave for you throughout the day
though I know that I should wait
and it's best to savour each moment
as I sit and anticipate

I try my best to resist
but eventually I fold
so I take you in the afternoon 
when you're more intense and bold!

I am addicted and I crave you
your body so hot, so full
yes you are my weakness
and I can't resist your pull

Though I've sampled several others
you're the one who makes me sigh
there is something lacking in the rest
that just don't satisty
So I"ll never ever give you up
you're the one I need the most
you're the coffee that perks me up
and goes best with my toast.






 

Monday, July 4, 2011

Bonavista Baby!!!!


Michael Ryder of Bonavista with the ultimate prize!


I'm a Boston Bruins fan.  You didn't know that?  You mean somebody out there didn't hear that blood curdling scream from me back in June the night that they (massacred the overbearing and over-cocky Vancouver Canucks) won the Stanley Cup?

Yeah..that was me.  That was not a cat and a moose mating.  They do sound similar though so I understand your confusion. 

So now Michael Ryder from Newfoundland is bringing the Stanley Cup to Bonavista Newfoundland on August 30th and I'm already planning the day! 

Here is a big secret.  You heard it first here.  Get ready for it!

True happiness is when your team wins the Stanley Cup

Frig all the stuff about happiness being a choice and that it's up to you.  I take it all back.  You really just have to win the cup.  Seriously! 

Okay,  I'm kidding but it sure does help!

Still,  I'm so bloody happy this year because they(we and I know I had a hand in this) finally did it!  This year was  my hockey year.  This time my team was the victor.  This time I get to celebrate and be crazy and wear a great big B on my chest and root for a bear with a beer.  Oh the pride.  Oh the happiness. Oh the party!

The tears.  The joy.  The "up yours" to the Habs and Philly and even the Canucks and Philly and the Habs again but especially Philly! (I can forgive the rioters though..I would have rioted if we had lost..I had plans to toilet paper a tractor and tip a cow if they'd won instead of my Big Bad Bruins)

So on August 30th I'm in Bonavista.  I  shall be cheering loudly and weeping like the sap I am.  Yes I'm a raging hockey fan and this year was special.  The best.  So completely the best.  It was so darned  special in so many ways it can't be formed into words.

And this is how I'll celebrate.  Well one of the ways because I don't think I'm ever gonna stop!

Now for some online shopping at the Bruins store!  Because I love shopping!  This kind anyway!

Go Bruins!




Go Bruins!  See you in Bonavista Stanley!






Sunday, July 3, 2011

I am Still Here





I Am Still Here

From here the sky is only blue
and from here the sun shines always
in this place right next to you
I bask in the warmest sun rays

It turns out heaven isn't in the sky
as the prophets liked to preach
but next to those we love the most
such that we're always within reach

It may seem like I've been gone too long
and I  wonder if you knew
I've not been gone an instant
for I've been ever here with you

It is so free where I am now
and I'm an angel to you all
I'm here to catch the saddest ones
and those about to fall

If it is a sign of proof you seek
that I didn't wander far
I am in the face of the sun
the flower, not the star

I could have picked a butterfly
or perhaps a rainbow's hues
but the biggest bloom of brightest colour
is the symbol that I choose.

Even midst the whitest winter months
when flowers aren't the norm
I'll find a way to send you one
in some mystical magical form

Watch for me in flower beds
as well as places unexpected
for the love we shared upon the earth
crossed over unaffected!


Loved ones never leave for we are all pure love at our depths and love never dies
Carolyn R Parsons








  .

Saturday, July 2, 2011

And we'll have fun fun fun!

On Canada Day I took the girls to an art show in St. Mary's Ontario!  On the wall of the building there is a mural.  The girls started to insinuate themselves into scenes on the wall of the brick building and I snapped photos of their fun.  Then Martina made up a story to match.  I think it's very clever.






This is my friend Bobby!

My mommy was with me but she had to go shopping

My sister and I needed to have an adventure.  But stealing bikes is bad.

We want our friends to come on an adventure with us.  I wonder if anybody is home!

Oh my goodness!  The train is coming!

Thank goodness this dog rescued us just in the nick of time!  Good doggie!

Our mommy yelled to us"Be careful around the tracks" and we yelled back "ok" and thought it best not to mention our close call!


Sophia punched Bobby in the nose because he said a bad word.  His dad gave me a  high five because he had it coming!

While Sophia was high-fiving his dad..I gave Bobby a kiss on the nose to make it better!

I really kind of like Bobby.  I wish Sophia did too!
Perhaps she really does!
Isn't that wonderful!  I think that perhaps the greatest joy on earth is watching children play.  When their absolute fun and creative side comes out naturally and with complete inspiration it's like watching the best movie or play that you've ever seen.  I love this so much I may make a little story book for them out of the pictures and text as a keepsake! 

Perhaps that's why I'm so whimsical and silly much of the time.  Spending time with these two little girls would bring out the kid in anybody!  I adore them and they are my daily entertainment! 

I am so looking forward to this summer!  I love having them home and I adore having the freedom to go places and do things with them.  I'm truly blessed!




My happiness factor is off the scale!



Hero

Poem inspired by two oracle cards I pulled today

Hero

As the soft clouds drift cross the heavens
my intentions are strangely renewed
though invisible your presence is strong
and my confidences keenly restored

In the cards I seek some guidance
and answers to direct every wave
of the wand that sends all of my magic
to a conquerour so strong and so brave

Banish the serpent that chokes you
you are strong though you're often in fear
feel the sorcery that travels the ages
and flies miles to reach you out there

Each day marks the rebirth of a hero
with the universe inside his soul
that expands with each moment of victory
and explodes with each step to the goal

You are powerful like a steam train
and your strength is all that I measure
your weaknesses encased in lead
are buried deep in the gorge of forever

Fly swift like the eagle above you
leap high and you'll soon be set free
remember you'll always have magic
and that your forever a hero to me













 < <

Friday, July 1, 2011

I Love You.




I Love You

My love is not a heavy weight
or a burden you must bear
it's as light as feathers floating
on a current of warm air

My love is not a cage or box
it is no prison cell
you may leave as you desire
and return again as well

There is no standard you must bear
you're free to be just you
you may cut the path you choose to walk
and pick your own companions too

 It's not a sacrifice I make
I've everything to gain
its the gift without conditions
that should never cause you pain

It's not a pedestal you're on
I know you're just a man
so know that when you make mistakes
I'll always understand 

I don't expect perfection
and I know you too believe
that ideal is impossible
for any to achieve

you're not my whole life's purpose
and I'm not yours I suspect
but I'll always try to treat you  
with kindness and respect

I will never try to change you
for that is not my way
I love the man you are right now
and it's how I hope you'll stay

I don't even need your love at all
for that is yours to share
I just want to give my love to you
and let you know I care

It's pure the way I feel inside
and pretty simple too
forever and with all my heart
I will be in love with you





Love makes sense once you stop trying to make sense out of it.
Carolyn R Parsons