|Me, before my coffee this morning..no wait..this was after..yawn!|
I have been awake since 4am. Why do I wake up every night at 4am? This has been going on for a while. Usually I manage to go back to sleep but not last night. Nope..so on just a few hours sleep I'm a zombie. I'm also a little punchy so when my friend April was running ideas across me for catchy phrases for her Linked IN profile (she's a photographer) I got a little silly. Sleep deprivation is pretty much like alcohol to me. Anyway she didn't use any of my suggestions and I don't understand why. I thought they were excellent and I'd be likely to have my pictures taken by her but that's how I roll.(film get it? It's a joke. nope? You're all boring. Yawn.)
Here they are. Remember I was sleepy. But wouldn't you go to a photographer with one of these catchy phrases on her profile?
1. Our photographer will transform your ugly mugs into something that won't make people run screaming into the streets!
2. We use photoshop...don't diet for our portraits!
3. Even your bratty kids will sit still..thanks to the magic of liquor in their root beer!
4. Pets are welcome and we promise not to laugh at the bow on your pit bull's head even though it is stupid.
5. We promise to use lighting and shadows to your greatest advantage because, well, you're butt ugly most likely.
6. Stupid doesn't show on our pictures~promise. Well, unless that's your pet name for your husband. And even then...photoshop!
7. Weddings are our specialty and we'll photoshop(again!)your mother in law in so you don't have to invite her!
8. We also do honeymoon pictures and we'll even get interactive~if you're cute that is.(wink wink)
9. Birth pictures are our newest specialty~just say cheese..er...maybe not...don't hit me..he knocked you up!
10. Clothing is optional. I mean you get to choose what you wear. You can't be naked. Naked is bad. Naked isn't good. No, that's just wrong. It leads to fornication and other sexy fun things. NO Naked I said!
Our website is "www.videosxrated.orgy...no....wait that's the other one..it's www dot prettypicturesnomatterhowfunnylookingyouare.org..yeah..that's the one!
I need more sleep. Yawn.
|Life is meant to be lived and not taken seriously. Just sayin'|
Carolyn R. Parsons