Friday, March 25, 2011

Dance of Fury




I am happy.  But I am also human and sometimes people, life, loss, grief, sadness, stress, insomnia, full powerful moons and just general life circumstances get to me.  Sad happens but after sad comes the emotion many people judge the harshest but that I view as a necessary step to healing. 

I get angry!  And sometimes, I need the anger, it is a stage that I must go through so I wait for it to come because I know that if I get really super pissed off I will work through to peace quickly after.

I try not to direct my anger at a particular person and I do try to express it and deal with it in a healthy way.

But I enjoy an occasional fit of the red furious passion.  And at these times I get royally pissed off at people who are fools, pissed off at my own foolishness, pissed off at being pissed off.  I have a temper too.  I like to throw things.  Of course this isn't appropriate behaviour, I don't actually throw things(much) so I meditate through it and I write through it.  It's often fleeting, minutes to a few hours and often laughter is my best remedy. 

I wrote this poem in the midst of one such adult style tantrum that no one would know about if I didn't 'fess it all up here on this blog.  But you can't appreciate the happy if you haven't felt the despair.  So this anger is the snowfall, and then after that comes the sun to melt it.   Yes always the sun comes again.  Always it comes.  So make the dance of anger a fast one, get through it and move on to the sunny slow dance of silence and peace. 

And apologise and attempt to do better if you hurt someone along the way.  Don't just buy them a gift though.  That's not an apology, that's a get myself off the hook easily action and it's a lame thing to do.  I hate that.  Gifts should be only given in love, not to make up for bad behaviour.  I really really despise that.  It is a sucky thing to do.  Instead,  make serious amends, change your ways, find healthy outlets for anger.  There is nothing that makes me more angry than when people use a material gift to make up for bad behaviour..it pisses me off and sends me into a tailspin and then I just want to beat the crap...oh..wait..sorry...I got angry again..oops.  Sorry...let me buy you an ice cream?




Dance of Fury!

Where have you been my vexed dancer?
My companion in darkest deepest passion
Impatience gnawed my gut as I waited
Somewhere far from my default, compassion

Why did it take you so long to come?
I’ve longed so for your flamed appearance
Since those days when I first was faced
With love and trust’s cruel disappearance

Now that you’re here to rock with me
My cold delightful mate called rage
I can finally take an angry dance step
Upon your heated vitriolic stage

I’ll bow first, take a masterful lead
All shall watch while I cavort with fury
I’ll stomp until this dance floor is dust
And all who get too close are sorry

I’ll take my place, the front of the line
And I’ll play my wicked music loud
I’ll pirouette the devil's twirl of fury
And annihilate the whining, silly crowd

Then I’ll jump on him with my angry passion
And ravish him with demonic red hatred
We’ll both dance cruel on his shaking bones
Until the three of us are left completely sated

Then I’ll bow goodbye and let you leave
My rare but necessary consort
to dance the steps of temper is an exception
but a necessary, healing heart sport





"All emotions have value when expressed in a healthy way"

Carolyn R. Parsons
 

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