Monday, May 31, 2010

Cover Art for The Secrets of Rare Moon Tickle!




















I am thrilled to give you a preview of  the cover of The Secrets of Rare Moon Tickle, my first novel, due for publication on August 1, 2010.

I'm even more thrilled that the cover photograph is of a scene from the place where I grew up, Change Islands, Newfoundland.  It is also the  home of the very talented photographer, Tenisha Saunders.
I hope the book lives up to its cover because I am delighted with how wonderful this looks!



 

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Wave















Through bewildered eyes
awash with tears
comes this great adventure
and its immeasurable fears

We are woefully inadequate
so our compass guides
as we negotiate through the
channels of our lives


The universe decides
which hearts intersect
while we're left to wonder
and dream and connect


Truth is our beacon
while love is our chart
We set sail with the stars
guiding our heart

All that we had
was all that we gave
until we float on the crest
of the next great wave.

 



Thursday, May 27, 2010

Why can't we all be like Burt Hummel?


I am taking a break from writing for a couple of days however before I go I have to, simply have to share this video.  I am a huge Glee fan.  The show is such a mixture of brilliant musical talent, ridiculous, yet clever humour and then there is the social statements inherent in the show each week, expressed through the lessons the characters learn.

All of us, every single one of us is born different.  We can conform or we can be real.  But I truly believe that only those who choose to embrace their individuality can become truly happy.  Nothing, is more attractive to me, than someone who is real.  But it's difficult to be true to yourself in the wake of the prejudice of others, even the subtle bigotry like that Finn expresses when he calls the decor "faggy" and tries to explain it away.   

Mostly I laugh but occasionally I cry, and this video is of a clip that had me weeping on Tuesday night.  I was so moved and it says it ALL.  I re-watched it today and wept again.  


I think that not only was this a moving scene, I think it was an important moment in television history.

Why can't we all be like Burt Hummel?  




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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

One More Night
















Your fingers dance across my skin
like rays of sunshine's fire
dappled and tapping lightly
in a dance of hot desire

Your lips brush mine softly
quenching night air seared
 from our last evening's loving
that ended as dawn neared

Your breath drifts hot again
and burns across my breast
 my temperature now rises
with the sunrise in the east


Sultry eyes burn blisters
across my tender cheek
and consume the tears that trickle
like a thirsty summer creek


Then a low familiar drum beat
soon taps a cold  refrain
and reminds my heated body
that you're leaving me again.

 

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

History and Mystery~That's All There is Folks!
















I was talking to  a friend of mine online, you know, one of those late night, profoundly deep, face book chats one has when they've had too many mojitos and not enough sleep? No?  Oh, must be just me then.  Any who...during the course of the conversation I wrote down something I said, knowing I would never remember it otherwise.

I told him there are two parts to life, history and mystery.  That is it.  


So now, what does this mean?

Well the first part is obvious.  We all have a history.  We all have the past that shapes us into the person we present as, the identity that most of us consider ourselves.  We have memories of family and friends, childhood games and tragedies, harms we have done, and those done to us.  We are shaped by the memes and opinions of the people of the culture we are raised in, the community that accepts or rejects us and our own reactions to all of these things in our past.  The adage goes that those who do  not know history are bound to repeat it.  The truth of that is we set so much of our life in motion according to the recorded diary of information in our brain that we use our history as our reason for doing or not doing that which makes us the healthiest, happiest individual we can be.  We were harmed so we harm, we were unaccepted so we are not accepting, we were damaged so we damage.  The converse is true as well.  Our history is important we are taught.  We pour over family trees, brag about great warriers in our ancesty, complain about our lack as a child and express regret over that which we missed out on or chose not to do.

Our history, however is only as valuable as the lessons we learn from it.  If we do not question our history, if we are bogged down by our fears, if we do not question every single thought that was implanted by others throughout the course of our lifetime, then we will never reach the pinnacle of actualization and meaning that we all hunger for.

And that questioning leads us to the mystery.  For in that questioning we start to understand that what we thought was our truth is indeed, a great unknown.  What we were afraid of, is in fact, not all that real and that what we were attached to is no longer relevant in our lives. This is a scary thought to many people but it is in fact, the great truth.

It is all a mystery, all of life,  and while we can make some guesses as to which way things will go based on past experience, we truly cannot know from moment to moment what will happen.  To worry about it is a waste of the present and to be afraid of the mystery is even a greater waste of the moment.

I spend my days in wide-eyed wonder, embracing the miracle of each moment as they unfold like a braided ribbon you open one silken turn after another.

There is a quote that I love that goes sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.  


I have noticed that the great thinkers, Emerson, Thoreau, even Einstein, all of them known for their exceptional brilliance, lived their lives in a state of constant curiosity and wonder, seeking, never satisfied with what they knew but almost childlike in their search for what they had yet to learn. Their intelligence was not how they identified but rather their questing for knowledge was their driving force.  We remember them as being smart, they considered themselves unknowing.

A while ago I was listening to Leonardo DiCapprio being interviewed and he said when he was younger his thirst for knowledge was so great he would get depressed just knowing that he would not be here long enough to learn everything.  It was a relief to me that someone, anyone else, in this world felt that way because it was how I had felt my entire life.  I hope Leonardo got over that, I know I did in time.

I realised there is the greatest mystery, the one that probably causes more fear than any other, and that is the mystery of what comes after this life.  Once I became steadfast in my belief in the infinity of the spirit I relaxed in my desire to know it all now.  Because there will be time after to learn the rest.

And also,  if we are to approach all of our moments with an insatiable zest, and live life in wonder and to its fullest, should we also not approach the great mystery in the same manner?  Shouldn't we rejoice that we will get to travel into that moment, the one that takes us from this to the next.  Will it just not be another movement from one moment to the next, just as we went from the last moment to this one?  Is there really any difference, though the body is gone?  I don't believe so.

What do we do with this information once we have it and understand it?  We make sure that each moment's mystery evolves and leaves behind the greatest and most profound history that we can make.

Mystery makes history but does not depend upon it.  And that folks, I believe,  is all there is.


 


Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Mystery















This mystery is riddled
it has not a name
the voices are silent
the crazy is sane

Beauty is revealed
as a hideous mask
inside is outside
The first is the last

Unconditional love
is always dependent
grotesque guise
becomes resplendent

It cannot be reclaimed
though all is not lost
content is the prize
when mercy the cost



 


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Just "Something" I wrote last night....

Travels

Under morning's moon
lie foggy meadows
damp air shifting
skipping down
country roads
grey dust sifting

Afternoon holds
blackberry fields
salt spray misting
temperate forests
rustling leaves
song birds whistling

In twilight's shadow
ghostly voices
begin their whispering
mosquitos buzz
I fall to you
softest landing

Midnight comes
darkness lightens
spirit leaving
vivid dreams
secrets shared
eternal knowing

















Friday, May 21, 2010

Walls















Walls

Within my walls
I am still in the night
calm in the day
peace in the light

Between my walls
I have rhythm in my feet
chords in my ears
my heart keeps the beat

Against my walls
I stretch and grow
embrace and love
welcome and know

Facing these walls
I fill with love
the canopy lifts
that I may rise above

Before my walls
I own no past
I see my now
through panes of glass

Through formless walls
I reach for you
beyond my facade
beyond yours too

I touch your  hand
and a tear drop falls
breaching the barrier
of imaginary walls




 

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Reciprocation; sui generis


























Reciprocation;  sui generis

Just as the leaves on the tree, 
deviant is the red maple from the oak
yet as merited
Likewise is a single snowflake on a mountain
recumbent at the crags and cliffs
though it repose there assimilated


Just as the divisible spark separates
apportioned from the flame, 
yet remains ever as heated
so must your undeniable essence
step past the throngs and walk
through the portico unprecedented.


 

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Front Row and Left of Centre!




Today was a fantastic day!  I took my 4.5 year old Martina and drove into the city to meet one of my best friends who has a granddaughter the same age!  We went to the local market where we saw Erik Traplin, a wonderful local kids entertainer and then after we ate lunch and went to the playground.  It was a beautiful sunny day and there were swings and climbers and slides!  It was great and the children enjoyed them too!

 My friend, Deb took some video of the kids and we watched it after we returned to her place for lunch and beverages and we both noticed that the kids were front and centre at the show, dancing more wildly than any of the others.  We joked that the little nuts didn't all that far from the trees!   They were both, indeed,  front row and left of centre!

A few years ago, before I had the littlest girls, Deb and I followed a certain band *cough*GreatBigSea*cough* all over Ontario and parts of the US.  And we had to, and were, at every single show, front row and slightly left of centre!  It was amazing.  We got a little squished at times but we also had the ultimate musical experience at every single show!  

Today as we were joking and laughing about those time we realized that we both live all of our lives exactly that way as well!  Front and left of centre.  We both get out there and enjoy, we laugh, we swing, we jump and slide(jeans stick, wear slippery stuff btw).

Now the thing is, we never pushed our way to the front.  We got there early, lined up, we waited.  We played music and danced and had a party our own impromptu parties as we waited.   New Year's Eve 1998 we were in Niagara Falls and nearly froze  but we stuck it out.  And that show was terrific!  One of the best ones ever.  In Guelph, Ontario the rain poured and we were soaked.  It was also amazing!

Sometimes you gotta get a bit uncomfortable, sometimes you have to wait a while, sometimes you have to  laugh in the rain but life is meant to be lived and lived well.  

The trick is not to try to live in front of everybody else.  It's not competition with others that you need to strive for.  What the goal needs to be is for you to be front and centre in your  life.  To be witness to and partner in your own fantastic life.  It's not enough to merely watch it go by from somewhere in the back but to be in control of it, to be engaged with the performers before you and the audience nearby.  To dance and sing at the forefront of your own journey across this earth.  

This is a one way trip. There is only one shot at this.  And there is no program.  You are on your own.    Get the  best seat.  And every now and then, if the impulse hits, it's perfectly fine to jump up on stage and join the band.  Just keep an eye out for security!

  


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Connections; Just an Observation







Almost every night I write for a couple of hours and then to unwind I go You Tubin'.  For me this means I start with a song I want to hear, usually something older, and one song leads to another and so on.  Last night I started with Lennie Kravitz and then somehow Billie Idol, Prince, ACDC, Def Leppard, Guns and Roses and then Bon Jovi.  Now some of the music is connected, you can see the path.  They are the same kind of music but when you look at where I started and where I end up, well there doesn't seem to be a whole lot in common.  Lenny Kravitz sings an entirely different kind of music from ACDC or Bon Jovi for example.  Mostly though I follow instinctively, one song leads to a memory which leads to a related memory and triggers another song.  It is a truly enjoyable way to relax and remember really positive moments in your life.


I live with analogies in my writing world, I see them frequently in my real life and this made me think about the connections we have as human beings with each other.  I know, sounds like a bit of a stretch but it's what came to me as I noticed the path I was taking as I went from video to video and noting the connections I had to the music I played, how certain songs reminded me of places, people, events etc.  We make connections between songs and people that seem random and we make connections with people that also seem random and inexplicable.


I'm not necessarily talking about a traditional love connection, though it could be that,  just a deep knowing that this person is meant to be in your life and that their role is important.  Sometimes they stay, sometimes they don't but the connection seems to remain no matter the outcome.  They are immediate.  They are profound.  And yes, as I said, they are seemingly random.


The book I've written, The Secrets of Rare Moon Tickle,  the one that is coming out in June explores one such connection between the two main characters who can't seem to make sense of it no matter how hard they try, and it affects their entire lives, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.  This is the major theme of the book and of course,  you bring yourself to your work, so it is somewhat my own exploration of my thoughts on this topic through the characters in the book.  


Sometimes the reason for the connection is obvious.  They are your relative, your parent, your seat mate on the bus in kindergarten.  Geography makes it easy.  But sometimes you find it in the most unusual place and you can't see any reason why you should feel connected to this human being, yet suddenly, you are. It's an odd thing. 


One of the lines from the book goes "?  What if all of our lives are predetermined in the heavens and we simply get to live in the details. What if the stars, the moon, and the sun all shine in perfect rhythm with our lives, counting our days, watching our nights, determining our every step though we count it as accidental?  What if there are no coincidences?"


If this is the case, what do we do?  How do we know where to take our friendships, when to leave them behind because they are no longer what we need. 


Maybe the best thing we can do, as in all things, is to follow our instincts, love where we can and leave the rest up to fate and not worry too much about outcome.  We need to synchronize our lives a little, bring things together, accept the oddities and the gifts we are given and stop analyzing the people we are blessed to connect with throughout this tiny earth-journey we make.  


Then eventually,  in the words of Jackson Browne, "Let creation reveal its secrets by and by..."



 

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Decide!

I moderated the chat room yesterday for The Power of You(for women) radio show.  The topic was about what to do after the storms of life.  How to move forward.  It was a very enlightening conversation and it left me pondering for some time after.  

I think back over the storms of my own life, divorce, unemployment, the illness and subsequent death of my amazing father and all of the changes that came out of those events that led me to where I am now.

And one thing stands out.  I never wasted time in worry.  I was always decisive.  I may have taken some time getting my ducks in a row to have them work out.  But I always decided to follow my instincts and do what felt like the right thing.  Sometimes the outcome was not what I would have wished but then I used the same tactics to move in a different direction.

I was just writing a post for my other blog and at the end I always write a little affirmation.  It concerns the steps you need to take to make the changes in your life that make it more fulfilling and happier and most of all peaceful.

I thought I'd share it here as well.

Decide:  That is the first step.  That is the only step.

Immediately someone will go "but what if?" If you do that, you haven't decided.  I've noticed a few people in my circle that have recently quit smoking.  I know someone who is closing in on a year of sobriety.  I stumbled upon a blog yesterday of a woman who had lost 78lbs.  All of these people will have continued success if they have decided to do so.  Sometimes you may have to reaffirm your decision daily.  But if you've decided.  You will do it.

They may not have a  perfect journey, but  if they pick themselves up when they stumble instead of falling back into the old patterns, they will have success.  They can't NOT have success if they have decided.

Many people will say "I will try" and think that they've made a decision.  If you only try...you may succeed.  If you decide to do something, you WILL succeed.




 

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Canadian Week at "The Not"













It's Canadian Week at The Not!  The blog, Not From Here, Are You,  hosted by Michael Solender, is celebrating all things Canadian this week with submissions from all over this great country.  I didn't have anything particularly Canadian to enter until the last moment and it's been kindly included by Michael.

Here is the line up!

5/10: Lily Childs & Carolyn "Breeze" Parsons
5/11: Alex Chornyj, Ed Denning & Rob Learn
5/12: Cathy Olliffe & Alan Davidson
5/13: Steve Wheeler, Kelly Giles & Vic Burton




Saturday, May 8, 2010

Temptation















Temptation


Temptation is a spider on my skin
tip-toeing  fascination down my spine
igniting  yearning's unfamiliar flame
erasing the familiar borderline

Demons whisper yes from on my shoulder
No, another shakes me from the pull
a web of silken fancy provocation
spins enticement as a web upon the wall

Beguiling is its promise in the evening
enticing, is the danger in the choice,
a coded  language oddly still familiar
speaks of pleasure in a cryptic tempting voice

Demons whisper life is only once lived
Angels likewise whisper live it right
but temptation is a spider on my skin
that walks upon an empty, lonely night.




















Friday, May 7, 2010

Change is Hard? Not if you decide it isn't!














Someone commented on something I wrote a few days ago about how they wanted to make some changes in their life but ended with "change is hard."

Here is my take on that statement.  I am a person who has made a conscious decision to change many things in my life.  My advice is that  the very first thing that must happen for change to occur with ease is a shift from the perspective that change is hard.  It isn't. Every thing I have changed, from quitting smoking nine years ago to becoming a stay at home parent after years in the business world, to writing and publishing two books have been relatively easy.  I suffered because I was afraid.  Once I let go of my fears, and let things happen as they were supposed to, it was much easier.  Now I skip right to that place in my mind before I make changes.

The very first step is understanding that we only think that change is hard. Once you decide to change and start taking the steps to do so you must follow it with the decision to take whatever comes as a result of that change in an accepting and peaceful manner.  Yes, a career change may lead to less money, so we tighten our belts and smile.  Quitting smoking may lead to weight gain( So we loosen our belts then).  So what.  For the greater good, we carry on.  And if we are mindful and decide we're not going to gain weight from quitting smoking, we won't.

Ingrained in us is the fear that we will be harmed in some way by making changes in our lives.  So we stay in our current patterns that are stressful, unsatisfying and keep us from our true happiness.  We stay with a mate who doesn't love us as we deserve and for who we are because we fear being alone, we stay in jobs we hate because we fear being poor, we don't do the thing we love for fear of ridicule by others, giving them power over our lives they probably don't even want.

The statement, "change is hard" must be banished.  Why would you do anything that's hard?  Change is easy.  Our own resistance to it makes it hard, but change in and of itself is easy.

I was recently asked if I thought I had adopted a life of non-suffering?  I am unsure if I have fully adopted it or not.  What I have adopted is the attitude that I live now.  The decision to suffer over what is happening in this moment is entirely mine.  I feel pain, I get sad, I am a highly emotional person, sensitive in spades to the hurt of the world, but I refuse to let any of that stop me from doing what I intend to do, for suffering on behalf of others. Instead what I do is spring to action, donate money to charity, help where the assistance is required, give the best of me that I have to give.

Years ago I was on a discussion board and we were asked to come up with our six word motto for our lives. Mine was "Easy come, easy go, walk on..." and they are words I live by.  Life swirls around you like a wind, sometimes it's a gentle breeze, warming your skin and making you happy.  Sometimes it's a whirlwind and unfortunately we all get  hit by the tornadoes of life as well.  We can weep and cry and wail and fight against  the wind or we can choose to allow ourselves to be carried on its powerful gusts into whatever the next phase of our lives brings.  And sometimes, if we have other storms in our lives, and if intuition dictates,  we should jump out there and do a little wind surfing and catch that breeze voluntarily.  That is the bravest and most rewarding thing to do.

If you look back on your life you will see many examples of how everything in your life has changed, your relationships, friendships, careers, hometowns, the weather, over time.  And you made it through and survived them all.  Most of us thrive.  Isn't that proof right there that change is easy?  And it is something that is adapted to much better when it's made by you rather than having it thrust upon you.

Get out and live.  It's easy to live if you do it without barriers, without inhibitions, without fear.  Change is easy.  If you decide it is so.

 








Thursday, May 6, 2010
















Highway of Heroes~A Salute to #143

Hanging from the too familiar bridge
heated by the heartbeats of the crowd
beating with the fluttering scarlet draperies
The sombre as you pass below, so loud

An Ontario town sheds its tears this time
And we all still weep as the motorcade goes by
as a family lays to rest its precious son
and once again we plead a silent why?

The traffic grows too heavy on this highway
The travel on the busy road must cease
May another never have to make the journey
We salute you soldier, as we pray for peace












In memory of Petty Officer Douglas Craig Blake, 37, of Simcoe, Ont., 






Creating Possibilities!

I recently joined with Kimberly Banks in her one million women/one year campaign for her initiative Heartistic Motivation.  As  part of my role there I will create blog posts for her site.  I wrote my first one and posted it on Monday.




The theme this week was Creating Possibilities.

We’ve all heard the saying If opportunity knocks at the door, open it. I am sure many of you have said that at one time or another about a decision you’ve made or perhaps as advice to a friend who is trying to make a choice? I know I have said these words. And of course, it is indeed very good wisdom, provided the opportunity is something that feels right in your heart.I used to live my life this way. It was a good life. I thought. But there was some niggling sense of dissatisfaction. I wasn’t doing what I wanted to be doing in life, I wasn’t even sure I knew what that was. But I was healthy, my family was healthy, we were financially stable, if not rich. We were not hungry and there was a lot to be thankful for. Yet, still, there was a hunger, a larger hunger, a craving for meaning and purpose and nothing was knocking at the door to bring me that with which to satisfy it.(read more)


Membership at Heartistic Motivation is free.  


 

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Basking and Bonking








Yesterday I spent some time in the backyard, listening to my ipod, reading, writing and just being in nature.  It was amazing!  The sun was shining and I basked in the beauty of a perfect day.  I also sipped a little rum and thought about my newest creative project.

I've started the new novel!  It's coming along swimmingly and the story is flying at me, bits of inspiration coming from all over.  I read somewhere that Margaret Atwood advised that you write as though nobody would ever read it, which frees you up to be as graphic and true to your art as you can be.  I am writing this book that way.  It is a paranormal/horror/romance and is definitely adult.  I don't know if adults read this stuff but I like what I've written so far.

My life is an interesting contrast, on one hand I've fallen into speaking in a motivational/inspirational mode about how to live a happy and joyful and fulfilled life and at the same times I'm writing a horror novel.  I always preface my explanation of the contradiction with two points 1.  The novel does have a theme 2. I love to write and refuse to limit myself.  This story begged me and there was no ignoring it.  I already love the characters and I'm engaged in the setting and the "what ifs" of it all.

And yet the horror stuff is only part of it. The characters in this book are multi-dimensional and they are erotic beings.  There will be sex in this book.  While there is sex in The Secrets of Rare Moon Tickle, lots of it, but this new work demands more graphic descriptions.  It's less poetic, more real and a little tickle and bang is as real as it gets.

So this book will be written as though nobody will read it, with the hope that many people do.  If I had a whole lot of hangups left, I might even consider a pseudonym but nah, I'm over that.  There comes a point in your life where you just have to live it. You have to get out there and inhale the joy and exhale it to the world.  You have to free yourself of the inhibitions that say "you can't do that" or "you shouldn't do this" and just go for it.  Some of the things I've written, I would blush at, if I were the blushing type.  I'm not.

If you don't believe me, check in to my interview with Kimberly Banks on the radio.  The rebroadcast is available now.  It's about my opinion on women and sexuality.

      



 

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Listen to Breeze on the Air Now!

Listen to a great conversation about the universal energy, also known as the Chi!  Click to hear the rebroadcast available on demand at any time!

         





 

Monday, May 3, 2010

Ode to Life



















I want to eat from your buffet of plenty
devour your juice from my wet finger tips
your flesh is my dessert, its peach fuzz
a sweet tickle on my hot aching lips

I want to roll in your soft nature bed
basking in the touch of your soul
heated by the warmth of your core
as it permeates my spirit from below

I want to smell your rose-scented heat
 inhale your breath, exhale it with mine
crunch the petals that bleed with your nectar
mark my place with sharp nails one more time

I want to live inside of your pleasure
and love you from inside of me
and roll in your soft nature bed
passionate, wanton and free.




The Chi~What is it and how can we engage it in our lives?








The Chi is defined, depending on your tradition, as the universal energy.  It is considered in the Taoist tradition as the sexual energy of the universe.  Just as humans have their own energy to create, aka, our sexual energy, so does the universe. To engage in communion with the divine energy and to live your life from that place is to live life in its fullest manner.  Want to learn more?  Tune in to The Power of You!

Tonight at 6pm join me on the air at Blog Talk Radio's The Power of You for Women.  Kimberly and I will be discussing a fascinating topic, understanding Chi and incorporating it into your daily living, living your life in a turned on state of being and bringing the passion of the Chi to all that you do and all that you are to live the best possible life you can.

I will read a poem I've written for the occasion, discuss our bodies, our attitudes about sexuality and sex and learn how to live with our natural sensuality in an exciting way.

This is a call in show, the on air number is (347) 677-1669.  Please feel free to call in with your questions, comments air at any time or log in to blog talk radio and join us for an online chat!


         


  


Saturday, May 1, 2010

Indifference














Indifference coils, a snake in an empty garden
its poison  pockets, deadly fangs of neglect
hidden between tall blades of uncut grass
slithering along the pathway to regret

I reach across the distance and pull back
rejection threatens to bite the tender flesh
tentative and  sad I turn away
careful navigation from the crash

Words that cut never never cross your lips
I am a pane of glass that you see through
Invisible, unheard, untouched, defeated
I feel regret and sorrow most for you.

Indifference coils, a snake in an empty garden
The asp chews hard as I give my farewell wave
loneliness the abyss I fall into
a dark and cold, uncaring living grave