Friday, May 7, 2010

Change is Hard? Not if you decide it isn't!














Someone commented on something I wrote a few days ago about how they wanted to make some changes in their life but ended with "change is hard."

Here is my take on that statement.  I am a person who has made a conscious decision to change many things in my life.  My advice is that  the very first thing that must happen for change to occur with ease is a shift from the perspective that change is hard.  It isn't. Every thing I have changed, from quitting smoking nine years ago to becoming a stay at home parent after years in the business world, to writing and publishing two books have been relatively easy.  I suffered because I was afraid.  Once I let go of my fears, and let things happen as they were supposed to, it was much easier.  Now I skip right to that place in my mind before I make changes.

The very first step is understanding that we only think that change is hard. Once you decide to change and start taking the steps to do so you must follow it with the decision to take whatever comes as a result of that change in an accepting and peaceful manner.  Yes, a career change may lead to less money, so we tighten our belts and smile.  Quitting smoking may lead to weight gain( So we loosen our belts then).  So what.  For the greater good, we carry on.  And if we are mindful and decide we're not going to gain weight from quitting smoking, we won't.

Ingrained in us is the fear that we will be harmed in some way by making changes in our lives.  So we stay in our current patterns that are stressful, unsatisfying and keep us from our true happiness.  We stay with a mate who doesn't love us as we deserve and for who we are because we fear being alone, we stay in jobs we hate because we fear being poor, we don't do the thing we love for fear of ridicule by others, giving them power over our lives they probably don't even want.

The statement, "change is hard" must be banished.  Why would you do anything that's hard?  Change is easy.  Our own resistance to it makes it hard, but change in and of itself is easy.

I was recently asked if I thought I had adopted a life of non-suffering?  I am unsure if I have fully adopted it or not.  What I have adopted is the attitude that I live now.  The decision to suffer over what is happening in this moment is entirely mine.  I feel pain, I get sad, I am a highly emotional person, sensitive in spades to the hurt of the world, but I refuse to let any of that stop me from doing what I intend to do, for suffering on behalf of others. Instead what I do is spring to action, donate money to charity, help where the assistance is required, give the best of me that I have to give.

Years ago I was on a discussion board and we were asked to come up with our six word motto for our lives. Mine was "Easy come, easy go, walk on..." and they are words I live by.  Life swirls around you like a wind, sometimes it's a gentle breeze, warming your skin and making you happy.  Sometimes it's a whirlwind and unfortunately we all get  hit by the tornadoes of life as well.  We can weep and cry and wail and fight against  the wind or we can choose to allow ourselves to be carried on its powerful gusts into whatever the next phase of our lives brings.  And sometimes, if we have other storms in our lives, and if intuition dictates,  we should jump out there and do a little wind surfing and catch that breeze voluntarily.  That is the bravest and most rewarding thing to do.

If you look back on your life you will see many examples of how everything in your life has changed, your relationships, friendships, careers, hometowns, the weather, over time.  And you made it through and survived them all.  Most of us thrive.  Isn't that proof right there that change is easy?  And it is something that is adapted to much better when it's made by you rather than having it thrust upon you.

Get out and live.  It's easy to live if you do it without barriers, without inhibitions, without fear.  Change is easy.  If you decide it is so.

 








5 comments:

Lia Mack said...

"Life swirls around you like a wind, sometimes it's a gentle breeze, warming your skin and making you happy. Sometimes it's a whirlwind and unfortunately we all get hit by the tornadoes of life as well. We can weep and cry and wail and fight against that the wind or we can choose to allow ourselves to be carried on its powerful gusts into what the next phase of our lives brings. And sometimes, if we have other storms in our lives, if intuition dictates, we should jump out there and do a little wind surfing and catch that breeze voluntarily."

Very well said. I love all the wind metaphors and it makes a strong point and case.

Great post! I'm sharing it :)

Breeze said...

Thanks...is it a little obnoxious that I call myself Breeze though ;).

and I've fixed the typos now too..I think.

Breeze

April Lindfors said...

Change is something you can always count on being there :) If nothing changed....boooooring.

Alan W. Davidson said...

That's funny, I was going to cite the same quotation from your post as Lia did...

She's right. It was well said. LOL at the 'Breeze' comment. Better a breeze than the humid, stagnant air (Yep, I lived in SW Ontario for a long time).

Nice post, Carolyn. Positive words.

Breeze said...

I am the wind beneath your wings....lol

Alan..you are living the dream...RDF...in the greatest city on earth~beats just about anywhere in the sunshine! It's always dry at the Duke after all ;)

April..it would be boring! I like excitement...though drama I could do without!

Breeze